It Has Been Awhile

Heyyyyy nonfollowers! It has been a little while since I've posted so perhaps it would be good to update you. Pumkin and I have secured jobs and work almost nonstop. I am still alive and well and very much aware I have noooo followers but I like to believe I have a million followers and they just don't want to subscribe. So I'll keep blogging for my shy ones =). No apartment yet but it isn't for not being able to afford one so I guess that's a step in the right direction. I am currently blind, thanks to my realizing my very private blog was linked to my very public twitter account. I quickly removed the link without remembering to put on my glasses. Oh and it seems my mozzarella theory was correct. Oh well, some people are for a season, some people are for a lifetime. Moving on...... Money's great, friends are even better, life is moving on.


Promise to stay in touch,





-Little Miss Perfect

Can You Save A Friendship That Has Been "Mozzarella'd???"

Here I am having a delicious bowl of Spaghetti-o's with a big chunk of mozzarella cheese in it. Every bite of creamy soup had a loooong string of cheese leading back into the bowl. The string would stretch and stretch and STREEETTCCHH, but it wouldn't break unless I cut it. Ok I know you're probably thinking my goodness LMP why are you talking about 25 cent soup? Because lately I've been deciding whether to end my relationship with my best friend or not. We are only friends in the most naked sense of the word: we don't quite hate each other.... yet. But we don't talk, she never wants to hang out and she is always with a crowd of people that I don't know. I wouldn't really care if it weren't for the fact that she never has time to hang with me, yet she is literally always with them. Like WTF? She does work a lot, like that's kind of all she does... but she always finds time to keep in touch with them, and be with them. I don't know, *sigh* it feels like it may be over. I don't ever want to feel like I'm working for her attention. I've been there for her for almost five years, that should be enough of a reason. I feel like our relationship has perhaps been stretched to its limits, from her getting an almost full time job, to me moving to Kent, and now this. We've officially been Mozzarella'd.


- Little Miss Perfect

Because The Night Belongs to Lovers. Because The Night Belongs to US

So I just realized I've only been home two weeks. It feels like a lifetime. We've had some sunspots in our job hunt. Nothing major, and yes we are still currently unemployed but there is some hope. I dearly miss my best friend. I feel like I need to see her and be my old, weird, crazy self. She is like my muse, like she knows so much about me that sometimes I need to go to her to remember who I am. We have planned a get together - sort of and I am actually looking forward to seeing my extended Italian family! Pumkin and I are doing pretty well at the moment. It seems all this struggling is making us fight harder for one another. I really do love him so much. I know it can get a little goopy to hear someone mooring over how in love they are but I feel it is so important to say it for the times when my love for him isn't so apparent - to either of us. I love him more and more everyday. Us being at the bottom with few supporters makes me see him in the cold light of day without all those other unimportant things getting in the way. And I love what I see. I feel as long as we can stay in love with so little, we will be more than alright when we have it all, because yes even in these scant times I believe the day will come when we have it all. I know we will. When we do we will remember these days, perhaps even fondly, and it will remind us to  be thankful everyday for our family, our friends, but most of all, each other.



- Little Miss Perfect

Killer Whales?? Let's call them Panda Sharks!!!!

The last few weeks have been quite stressful. I have a constant headache and my scalp has hurt for the last three days. Everything seems to be going irrevocably wrong. I can barely keep my spirits up. I've been turned down for job after job nothing seems to be going as planned. No job, no apartment, no car, no life. I am currently residing on my mother's couch (and yes it is almost equally as fun as it sounds). This is almost to much to take. I need encouragement or for something to break through eventually.



- Little Miss Perfect

Moving Out, Moving Up, Moving Back, Going Nowhere.

            It seems Pumkin and I have been trying so hard to get a place together for so long. It seems we've been doing this forever. I hate the applying for jobs that seems to be going nowhere. I hate the looming jowl of my mother and her dysfunctional home that hangs over my head everyday. I hate that this seems to be the only way. I hate Pumkin for not needing this as badly as I do. I really seem to hate my entire life right now. I don't want to do anything but get in my bed and sleep forever. I really wish I could.


-Little Miss Perfect

Kent State Epilogue

                     So I'm currently rocking to the sounds of Kid Cudi. Is it sad that he will always be my favorite??? He will. He's the perfect mix of self destruction and the beauty that can only come from it. Knee deep in finals week at the moment. The stress isn't too bad yet although I'm almost sure I didn't do so well on my Spanish final even though it is my best subject (self destruction.) Ahh well finals week only means we're only days away from my home-going and its a bittersweet realization. I will never forget my time here at Kent. It taught me so much about myself and made me so much more confident. I feel this was a sort of journey I needed to go on alone for it to work. It seems I had to be stripped down in order to become who I am. I had to become so little to grow bigger than I ever thought I could ever be. Braver than I ever thought I could be. Stronger than I ever thought I could be. I won't ever take away from this experience even though it was very difficult at times. I had to find depression in order to find true happiness. I had to taste defeat in order to appreciate victory. I had to become lonely to ever take advantage of all the love I was being offered. I am so happy I took this adventure because I''ve come out a lot better than I ever went in.


- Little Miss Perfect