I first met Pumkin in ninth grade. Wow. That was like five years ago now. We were awkward. I was pudgy and going through the worst part of puberty. He was lanky, dealing with acne and had a beautiful mouth full of metal. I was disappointed because I thought he was Asian thanks to how everyone mispronounced his name. Instead I got a full blooded Irishman. My best friend and I became friends with Pumkin and his best friend and were inseparable for most of high school. But the fun part is that WE HATED EACH OTHER! We spat nails at each other most everyday. He just picked on me nonstop, and you will come to find that Pumkin can really get hurtful with his words when he wants to. I started dating and for some reason he sort of laid off. Not talking to me much either way. And then I started dating this guy - let's call him Mineman (we only give names to people who will eventually become important in the stories). We were sooo in love ..... well I was anyways. We were supposed to graduate and run away to California. And I was going to too. I would've done anything that guy asked, but like most silly men he blew it - and broke my heart in a way that only can happen with your first love.
I moped for days - weeks even! Crying in public unabashedly, just wanting to know what I did wrong and how to get him back. Well my friends rallied around me especially my best friend in the whole world - let's call her Gingy (short for Ginger, she's gonna kill me.) Gingy must've known something Pumkin and I weren't smart enough to figure out yet because she told him to hug me on one of my more sobby days. Pumkin was not a particularly affectionate person (like my father. attraction #1). I don't know what she did to get him to do it but he did, and punched me in my down turned head in the process. It was a small gesture but it meant so much coming from the shy freckle-faced kid that will one day be my husband. And as the saying goes it was on like Donkey Kong. We flirted relentlessly for the next three or four months, making out in places we weren't supposed to be etc... But of course no commitment from him. No girlfriend no recognition. But why buy the cow....? So I had to take it into my own hands. I grabbed up my only resource Pumkin's best friend Mr. Pickles. He knew Pumkin was madly in love with me but just too shy (just like my father. attraction #2) to do anything about it.
But I was fifteen and I had priorities DAMN IT! Or so I pretended. I let Mr.Pickles know I had other options and if Pumkin didn't move his ass, I'd be gone forever. I did have other options but I had no intentions of going anywhere, I'd probably still be waiting if he wanted me to. Luckily after much hesitation and a lot of acting on my part he asked. He was as red as a beet trying to ask me out with the fewest words possible. The rest was history. We'd date, I'd think I had better options, we'd split, he'd patiently wait for me to stop being irrational, and I'd come back. Rinse. Repeat. Kissing porcupines we are. He is patient enough to let me be a brat and love me nonetheless (just like my - are we seeing a pattern here?). Surprisingly Mineman was who got Pumkin to pop the question. Mortal enemies from the beginning, Mineman and Pumkin had very little in common. But on breakup #3 or 4 God knows, Mineman and I reconnected. I had left for Kent State and didn't want to be tied down by a long distance boyfriend. Well ever the dutiful man (attraction #4) Pumkin came and picked me up from Kent and drove me home for Christmas break. Mineman and I were to meet up and there was an awkward situation at the mall. Pumkin and I were there just catching up and so was Mineman. My hometown is waaay too small.
It was painful watching my lil Pumkin having to see Mineman hug me and be so caught off guard. Well in a surprise twist Pumkin swiftly swept me into a jewelry store. Knowing what it meant but being to afraid to think of it, I was caught in a mixture of crazy feelings. Excitement, pure love, fright, confusion - plus more. By Christmas Eve we were engaged and scared out of our minds. We'd been broken up for about five months before that, I lived 120 miles away from him. How would we do this?
Well its been almost five maddening months since then and honestly we still don't have all the answers. The basic plan is I'm going back home, and we will find some small place to call home; just me, him, and love to get us through. We're in the process of trying to find jobs (which is increasingly difficult for me to do still living in Kent), and I move back home in a matter of days. We'll continue living with our parents until the job and apartment are located. So technically I'm moving back in with my mother...which could be - troublesome. All the more reason to find the apartment quickly. But you know what? I wouldn't change it. The situation is sticky and uncomfortable for the both of us but my God I love that man.
He is so beautiful and unappreciated. He has the look of someone so powerful that just hasn't figured it out yet. I know one day he will be something so big, but he can't get any bigger in my world. He takes up all my time and most of my thoughts. My heart is always with him. He lets me pursue whatever my passion is at the moment and is never threatened by my success. He makes me want to be better, while never demanding a thing from me. He loves in a way that most of us will never master. In a way that most aren't mature enough to. People look at us and think he's the lucky one. I just laugh. I'm the lucky one, every time he smiles at me. Every time I show him another scar, another piece of baggage that I'm lugging into the relationship and he says I'm crazy for worrying. I don't deserve all the forgiveness he is so willing to bestow. I don't know how I've tricked him into believing I'm the one he should settle down with, but let's just let him keep on thinking that =).
- Little Miss Perfect
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